I was up at 5:00 a.m. this past Saturday to prepare for the day, including Abbie’s graduation, a softball tournament, and a soccer match. What really woke me up was a message from a congregant alerting me to the tragic death of another congregant in a car accident. I’ve known this person for 25 years in the Avenue family. We had some inside jokes, especially about Sundays when she was the liturgist and how difficult biblical names fell frequently to her. This person was well-respected within the community and made a significant impact as a lifelong educator in our local school district.

Sitting in the bleachers at Caesar Rodney High School that morning, I prayed silently for her family and friends. I prayed for our church and our Milford community. Death is hard enough to deal with, but unexpected death is so brutal because it is that– unexpected. How do we, as Christians, handle death when it is unexpected, tragic, or happens to someone far too young?

Christians Embody God Who Comforts and Offers Peace: In the ancient book of Job, the namesake loses his family and property to a tragedy. He has a group of friends who come and sit with him in silence for seven days. This is good. It’s not comfortable, but sitting with those who are grieving is necessary. Our presence is a healing balm. If you know Job’s story, you know that the “friends” end their silence and begin trying to tell Job “why” this tragedy happened. They should have stayed silent! It is often impossible to tell someone why tragedy happens. We don’t need to offer platitudes (“God needed another angel,” etc.), we need to offer our presence full of the Spirit’s presence to comfort.

Christians Weep With Those Who Mourn: In the Gospel of John (ch. 11), Jesus’ good friend Lazarus becomes sick and dies. Mary and Martha believe that Jesus could have healed their brother. For reasons that only God knows, Jesus delayed going to Lazarus, and he died. As Mary and Martha confront Jesus, we see that Jesus weeps. While Jesus is fully divine, he is also fully human, meaning he feels and experiences the entire range of emotions you and I feel. In this moment of grief, Jesus weeps. Pastor Andy Stanley said, “Great grief is a faithful indicator of great love.” We are permitted to weep and grieve when those we love pass on to the next life.

Christians Live Ready to Die: There is the adage that death and taxes are the only two sure things in life. The reality of our mortality should cause us to live as those who are prepared to die. In Luke 13, Jesus tells of a current event (to him) of the Tower of Siloam collapsing and killing eighteen people. The point that Jesus is making is that we do not know when death will come, so we should repent of our sins and live each day fully with God. If we live as those who are prepared to die, then we can die as those who go forth to live.

Christians Grieve Differently: Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4 that Christians should not grieve like the world, which has no hope. We have hope of resurrection and eternal life in Christ, which impacts how we grieve. We will still weep and terribly miss our loved ones. But we have hope that through our faith in Jesus, death does not have the final say. There is life after life and death.

Tragedies are bound to happen regularly in a sinful and broken world. As Christians, we can develop a theology of death and grief that does not lose hope even as we miss the ones we love. Above all, we pray for God’s peace, which passes all understanding, to fill the hearts of those who mourn.

*I shared this post in the Avenue United Methodist Church Midweek Newsletter on June 11, 2025